Day One: Fashion, Fights and FUBAR.
Oh the hazy, fondly remembered days of going on a holiday a year ago... Hang on I better take these rose tinted glasses off... Oh yeah! It was shit! However it was easier. Pop a mask on, quick scan with a thermometer and try to avoid coughing on anyone. Simples!
Despite our government finally catching up with the rest of Europe (4 months too late) by simplifying the rules for the fully vaccinated they haven't really filtered down yet. At least not for our trip. So after jumping through a ridiculous amount of anxiety building hoops, at our own expense, we finally got on to the ship. Honestly you might as well just send a photo of yourself burning £10 notes (although they're plastic now so I'm not sure if that would work) and at least that wouldn't end up in the pocket of a government crony.
[Deep breaths... Remember what the Dali Lama said... not 'Fuck Off Simmons!" the bit BEFORE he saw me... Deep breaths]
We drove down the day before and stayed in a Premier Inn at Gatwick. It rained constantly which I quite like when you’re about to go holiday. We have enough fuel to get here, not sure about getting back home. We’ll cross that bridge (probably on foot) when we come to it. For the amount of sleep we got we probably could have saved some money and drove down overnight. Nothing to do with the hotel but by the time we had submitted our tests we were past sleeping.
I had the usual ritual of myself and hand luggage being searched. Not Lyn of course despite setting off alarms she just waltzed through and we finally got into the lounge. It was before 5am and people were drinking. You may have a different view but personally I think any alcohol before noon means that your not necessarily an alcoholic but possibly weaving down that road. Some patrons were on their 3rd beer in 20 minutes. There was nearly a fight at the bar about ‘pushing in’. They were clearly pissed. We like airport lounges, it’s normally a great way to start your holiday but this was the worst experience we’ve ever had. I wrote a review. It wasn’t 5 stars.
We landed in Malaga and there was a lot of animal print tops. Ladies take my advice, it doesn’t work and never has. It didn’t work when you were 18 and definitely not the wrong side of 50. It should go the same way as the erm… wimple. Probably need to update my ladies fashion knowledge but my point still stands. I have a whole essay about airport fashion which I might post at some point.
Anyway after traversing the travel equivalent of the 9 circles of hell we’re now on board. The cabin is good the staff are friendly and the food and drink is free. Its also in the mid 20‘s and my joints have stopped aching although that could be the cocktails talking 🍹. Sea Day tomorrow so the post may be late which is why this one’s early.
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