Packing… tricky… A cruise is always a bit awkward to pack for because, if you want to do it right, you need 2 outfits per day. One for the daytime and another for the evening. When going somewhere sunny it’s not a huge problem as shorts and T-shirts don’t take up a lot of room but looking at the long range forecast we’d be lucky if the temperature in Olden would break double figures so jeans and jumpers were definitely the way to go. They don’t roll up and weigh quite a bit. My suitcase was 1kg under the 23kg limit. Apparently because we weren’t flying you can take as many suitcases as you like and we did contemplate taking a 3rd one but in the end I decided we’d probably not be bring back a lot of tat.
Something we definitely didn’t take is a pineapple to put on the outside of the cabin door. This is apparently a real thing on cruise ships and is supposed to signify that you’re into ‘swinging’ and I don’t mean in the jazz sense. Having accidentally caught sight of myself naked in a full length mirror recently I can’t express enough my gratitude to Lyn but that’s what she signed up for 30 plus years ago. By cruise ship standard I might be considered ‘healthy’. The thought of a cruise ship swingers party conjures up images that would make David Cronenburg throw up. (Lyn says I have to explain this reference which spoils it a bit. Cronenberg is a director who specialises in body horror films. Even if you haven’t seen any of his work you probably would have heard of films like The Fly or Scanners for example.)
When we found out this little bit of cruise trivia I did contemplate buying some pineapple fridge magnets and leave them on random cabin doors just for shits a giggles… maybe next time.
We left home way to early but quite frankly it’s been 7 months since our last holiday (I sound like someone at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting) and we just wanted to get on the road. Strangely it was sunny when we left home but this lasted about 10 miles and then the clouds and rain started, which was kind of comforting. It would have been odd to start a holiday in sunshine.
Of course we got to Southampton hours before we needed to so stopped at a Mcdondals. A young woman came in wearing one of those gym outfits that leave nothing to the imagination and a discussion ensued as to wether she was wearing any knickers… we decided she wasn’t. Lyn’s comment was that if she kept cramming an extra large meal in her gob she wouldn’t get into the trousers much longer.
We thought we’d try boarding early and I have to say the whole process was fairly easy and painless. By 2pm we were in our cabin with our bags which was pretty good as we weren’t supposed to start boarding until 2:15. The ship is large well equipped, and comfortable. It’s certainly in better up keep then the Marella Explorer 2 on our last cruise.
Dinner wasn’t so good. We went to the included restaurant called Meridian, you can’t just turn up (I don’t think) there’s a strange online queue system. The food was edible, mostly. Except for the desserts which is something you can normally count on. Lyn had a meringue which was rock solid and the fruit was suspended in a flavourless jelly and no cream which it was supposed to have. I had the sticky toffee pudding and vanilla ice cream except there was no ice cream and it came with a crème anglaise. It looked like a turd covered in ejaculate. It didn’t taste much better then it looked (I would imagine) and I took one bite and sent it back.
Good and bad so far. Tomorrow is a sea day and I’ve booked a Portuguese Street food cookery lesson at 10am for £45 a go so my tarts better be bloody good.