Storm Isha raged across the UK the night before we left for Gatwick airport. For anyone who’s read my stuff before it’s quite normal to have atrocious weather before we go on holiday so I took it as a good omen.
We’d booked a night at Sofitel which is attached to the airport and has valet parking. We checked in our suitcases the day before the flight which is very handy and something I would highly recommend if you can do it. Despite having a 23kg weight limit my suitcase came in at a whopping 21.75kg. Still, under is under so I did a little victory jig.
Everything was going as planned up until 2:30am when the fire alarm went off. The whole point of booking a hotel room attached to the airport the night before was that we'd have a loverly stress free night ready for the long flight the next day. Everyone was ushered out of the hotel while we waited for 'Trumpton' to turn up and then take their time standing around while just one person walks about and discovers it's a false alarm.
Of course by the time we'd got back to our room we couldn't really go back to sleep properly so that was hundreds of pounds wasted. Speaking to the desk staff the following morning it turns out that the fire alarm went off because someone was smoking in their room and this 'someone' apparently was a member of air crew!
Because we'd booked the premium seats we also had priority security. Lyn got the extra search because of the heat patches she’d packed in her hand luggage. Apparently they look a bit suspect on the scanner. We then made our way to the lounge as this was also included in the seat price and here we had breakfast and looked around at our fellow passengers. This was when we first saw 'The Fashion Guru'. What I noticed was the jumper. At the time I couldn't recall what film it reminded me of but of course it's Steve McQueens 1971 film La Mans. I don't think I have the belly to pull off the jumper but when we got back, and by amazing coincidence, Quba had some jackets on sale so I got one of those... Yeah Baby!
Boarding was nice and uneventful. It's also nice turning left when you get on the plane, the stewards are far more attentive and bought us some alcohol almost straight away. I was pleased to see Fashion Guru was also there but then disappointed when he took his jumper off and had a rather dull T-shirt on underneath. I started flicking through the entertainment provided by TUI. I skipped looking at the film and TV options and started browsing the music... Wow! I'm fairly sure whoever 'picked' the music never thought anyone would actually bother listening to it. I did find a gem though. Bola Sete, Goin To Rio. There's definitely a 70's theme going on here.
I decided to make use of the 'rituals' pack in particular the eye mask and get 40 winks. Whilst asleep on the plane Lyn, who hadn’t been feeling well the day before, passed wind. This was so bad it woke me up choking. I was in such shock from the smell that I ripped my sleeping mask off which in turn pinged my headphones out of my ears and sent one of them flying 2 rows behind. The worst bit was that after waking so abruptly I needed a wee so everyone probably thought I was responsible for the smell. Lyn just sat there chuckling and wafting her blanket around.
As we came in to land, those going on a cruise were handed a form to fill in with no real explanation. Margaret (possibly her name) who was the cabin manager got very snotty when people started asking her what they should put on the forms. This is because she had no idea and told everybody the wrong information.
Jamaica doesn’t seem to have any boarder control. We didn’t even get our passports stamped. Because everyone had been told the wrong thing on the plane nobody’s departure form was filled in correctly. Airport staff, after looking at the first few, tried to get people to change it but then just seemed to think ‘fuck it!’ and herded everyone onto a coach. The coach ride had far too much horn sounding and sharp breaking for my liking. I might have been concerned if it wasn’t for the fact that my seat back (like about half of them on the coach) wouldn’t stay upright so I spent most of the journey looking at the ceiling and crushing the person behind me.
We were already familiar with the ship and it was nice to see it had had a makeover since our last cruise on it. The Cayman Islands would be our first stop the next day. Before that though we had to get there and our first night was not good. It was very rough and I think we were overtired. We woke at 3am (technically 8) and had a cup of coffee. Lyn wanted to try and go back to sleep so about 4:30 I went for a walk. I tried sitting at the back of the ship but started to feel sick which I don't normally do so in the end I sat in reception which is in the middle of the ship and fairly low down to minimise the role. Didn't think the Caribbean would be this rough but of course it is. Have I learned nothing from all those pirate movies? There's always a storm!
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