When booking this adventure I forgot I’d promised Victoria and Nathan I’d take them to the airport for their holiday. To be more accurate my mind had immediately moved on to other, more important things, like ‘Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?’. Consequently I booked ours for the exact same dates. Even if we’d been going to the same airport it wouldn’t have helped as we’ve now downsized the car so it’s the right size for Lyn, me and two suitcases. I know Victoria was a bit peeved to have to book a hotel at the airport for the night before their flight but its still a lot cheaper than fuel and parking AND they get to start their holiday a day early so ‘You’re Welcome’.
I’ve mentioned this before but cruise flights tend to be early because they need to get everybody on the ship and ready to go by the afternoon. Side-note, Bristol Airport have a system where you can drop your luggage off at the airport the day before your flight which would have been handy if it wasn’t a 4 hour round trip. We also needed to take antigen tests the night before which was very annoying as it seems this is literally the last cruise where you need to do this.
The queue for security was long. In an effort to ‘save’ money, for this trip we hadn’t payed for fast track or a lounge and instantly regretted that decision as we do every time we don’t cough up. However it was moving and in a twist that shows how fucked up the world is at the moment Lyn got searched at security instead of me!
Once on the plane, seated behind us was a Welsh group (maybe Weatherspoon friends) who unfortunately didn’t speak with a soft lilting accent like Jones the Steam. No they had the harsh and above all loud Welsh accents. [The analogy involving Tom Jones, Charlotte Church and a variety of root vegetables has been removed by the editor (Lyn) for being wholly offensive and inappropriate]. Let’s just say everything coming out of their mouths had an exclamation after it. The old man behind me whose birthday it was (I had to tell Lyn pushing him down the aircraft stairs didn’t count as giving him the ‘bumps’) was a particularly ‘joy’ because in addition to the loud random laughter and despite being in extra legroom seats he still managed to keep kicking my seat push his knees in my back and grab my headrest like it was a handhold. At one point after glimpsing his hand in my peripheral vision I thought death had finally come for me.
In front of us in the extra space seats that should have been empty the crew sat two fatties who, I assume, were too enormous for the regular seats they’d paid for. The cabin crew gave them seat belt extenders and a free upgrade! Call me old fashioned but I don’t think you should be rewarded for being grossly obese. Maybe, if instead of giving them larger seats they strapped them down with cargo netting it might be incentive to stop fucking eating.
On the plus side no children! But they probably would have been better behaved than the old… I really want to use the ‘C’ word here but I understand there are certain sensibilities about it so I won’t. But he was.
Obviously I’m being a little over dramatic because we’re now in Dubrovnik, sat on the ship, with cocktails in hand so “SCREW YOU UNIVERSE!” It seems like years (because it has been) since we had a holiday without having to worry about tests or masks or PLF’s or flight cancellations or airport queues. This should be the last time because I’m not doing this nonsense again. Dubrovnik is stunning. I’m even more annoyed at myself for not booking a few extra days here. It is great to be back on the Explorer 2, it’s like visiting an old friend but one that feeds me, takes me to nice places and gets me tipsy. No post tomorrow as it's a sea day!
Comments