The last time Lyn and I spent a night in a hotel in Bournemouth was in 1987 in the first blossoming of our romance and a week after ‘The Great Storm’. This was back in a time when I could get away with a ‘holiday’ being few nights in a seedy hotel on the south coast and not every bit of wind got a name. I quite like the coincidence so here’s to another 35 years.
We didn’t really want to spend a night in Bournemouth but unfortunately cruise flights are early and at the moment they still require you to take a pointless lateral flow test after 9pm the night before you fly. This is stopping next month and definitely won’t be missed.
This was our first time at Bournemouth Airport. It doesn’t have a private lounge and the only food option is ‘The Olive Tree’ unless you want packet of crisps from WH Smiths (for completeness there is an Est Presso but that’s it). If I was going to have a bar at an airport I’d call it ‘Dearly Departure’. It works on many levels. If you have any suggestions feel free to add them.
As we were the first flight from Bournemouth that day we actually left on time and the boarding procedure was the quickest and easiest we’ve ever had. Another plus was there were only 3 children on the entire flight. Obviously that’s 3 to many but a good result nonetheless. The only fly in the ointment was our ‘extra leg room’ seats had practically no leg room. We weren’t the only ones surprised and there was a chorus of “I’m sure we paid for extra leg room”. I can only assume that standard seats had less space then a veal crate. I asked a passing stewardess if we were in the right seats. Looking at my crumpled fatness she actually said “Oh you poor thing! I’m afraid they are. If the extra space seats are free I’ll move you’. Fortunately they were and she did.
One of the things that I loved was that they disembark the plane by rows! Even though they announced this and told people to stay in their seats you still had F’tards grabbing their crap and try and get off the plane first because obviously if you get if the plane first so will your luggage. I deliberately blocked the aisle and took great delight in telling a baby boomer to go back to her seat. Booking onto the ship went well, far better than our last cruise but this was probably because we were, if not the first to board, then very close to it.
First impressions of the ship is it’s a bit shit. The weather isn’t great which doesn’t help. Hopefully this will be our ‘at least one crap weather day per trip’. It’s also older than the Explorer 2 and is a bit tired. The seating and lounger on the balcony is dirty and one of the seats is broken. A bar of soap and some generic shower gel counts as toiletries. I’ve only found one useable socket and there’s no USB’s. There’s nowhere to put the suitcases and neither of us are looking forward to the bed. Oh and there are children on board which while expected is a little disappointing.
P.S. I’m having problems uploading images so they might come later or check out my Instagram.
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