Introduction:
I started the last journal for Tunisia saying that only having a few weeks between holidays might have been too short. It’s been 6 months since then which is far too long. It’s also been a year since our last city break to Vienna so definitely time to visit another major city of Central Europe. Michael Portillo recently did a 2 part travel programme on Channel 5. Having now been I can see why it needed 2 parts, if not more. Going off on a tangent I know a secret about Mr Portillo but like my info on Phillip Schofield which I knew 30 years before it all broke I shall just have to keep it to myself… and Lyn of course… and probably anyone who just randomly asks me… Apart from that my lips are sealed.🤐
We’ve learned a lot from this trip but to pick 3 things at random, that is the magic number after all, it would be;
Sling bags are our future travel essential. Especially for the ladies and their lack of pockets.
Lyn loves her sling bag which only cost £10 on Amazon. It’s also small enough to be counted as a personal item for the purposes of flying. Every bloke I saw carrying one looked a bit of a prick… so yeah I’ll probably get one. It’ll be handy for our next trip or even our days out as it’s a lot easier to carry the phone and photo stuff.
Uber! It’s easy and cheap.
I’d looked up how to get from the airport to the city centre using public transport and it looked fairly easy. Also being cheap it was only a couple of quid for both of us so that’s what we did when we arrived. However it was pissing down when it was time to go so I thought we’d get a taxi. There was a price list at the hotel and a taxi was about £30. I then remembered that I’d downloaded the Uber App in preparation for the trip and looked up how much that would be. Half the price! And that included a reservation fee and airport fee. I appreciate that essentially you’re contacting an unlicensed random stranger over the internet and hoping that they’ll take you to where you want to go and NOT murder you but for those savings it's worth the risk.
If you fly EasyJet always do an extra night.
The times for EasyJet flights tend to be shocking. For this break we didn’t get to Prague until 9:30pm and our flight home was 2pm, so at the airport for 11am. We effectively had 2 days to see the city. For our Vienna trip we flew with Austrian Airways and so arrived in the morning and didn’t fly back until the evening meaning we had another day to explore. I’ve been looking and for the sake of an extra £100-200 or so (depending on hotel and location etc) its far better to have an extra night and so spend a full 3 days at the city.
Day One:
We’d arrived at night but even so the city from our short walk from the train station looked amazing. Almost something out of a Gothic Horror with impossible towers and spires and wet cobbled streets. I was going to say we’d lucked out with the hotel but quite frankly I’m going to take the credit for doing a shitload of research and watching endless Youtube videos. In particular Real Prague Guides.
As the hotel name implies Archibald by the Charles Bridge is right next to this main tourist hotspot. So the next morning with a walk of about 100 meters, up some stairs and we were on the bridge. It was about 8am and it wasn’t particularly busy. Prague doesn’t seem to get going until about 10am. In fact I’m pretty sure a lot of the shops don’t open until then. Before 10 is a great time to go and explore the relatively empty streets.
We decided to keep to Lesser Town and walk up the hill to Prague Castle. I’m not exaggerating when I say almost every building and around every corner is something interesting. From the lampposts to the benches and even some strange bollards (see picture). Everything in Prague elicits an “Ooo Look At That!”. As part of my extensive research I’d seen the best way to get to Prague Castle was to take the tram up so of course we walked. Quite frankly I don’t know why or how I’m still alive. There’s quite a lot that comprises the ‘Castle” but we thought we’d stick to the basics and got tickets for the cathedral, the basilica, Golden Lane and some old palace.
I’m not much of a cathedral connoisseur but I have seen a few and so far St Vitus (not to be confused with the doom metal band) is the most impressive I’ve seen in all aspects, inside, outside and location. It absolutely dominates the Prague skyline and rightly so. As an atheist I do find it a little depressing that throughout history mankind’s most beautiful buildings and structures are dedicated to the God/Gods. To be perfectly honest I can’t think what an atheist temple (there’s an oxymoron) would look like. Maybe a library? Our local one, which is quite an impressive building, is being turned into a Gym, which says it all.
Prague castle was our first encounter with Chinese tourists. Now I say Chinese but I honestly have no idea. Asian might be a better term especially given Prague’s apparently large Vietnamese community. I was informed a few months ago by my daughter that I can’t say “Oriental”. I don’t know why. I’m pretty sure it can’t be racist not to know what country someone is from just by looking at them. I couldn’t tell a Frenchmen from a German or a Dutchman unless they were wearing a beret, lederhosen and clogs respectively. I’d be stumped if they changed outfits. Anyway on to the point, Asian (possibly Chinese) tourists are the rudest people ever! I know the cliche is the French are supposed to be but it’s more of a casual “Go away you are boring me” sort of rudeness. There’s a deliberateness about an Asian tourist, in particular elderly ladies, who will cross an empty street just to get in your way and attempt to block you going somewhere they themselves didn’t actually want to go. They also give you a look that says “Yeah! What you going to do about it lofty?”. Nothing of course is what I’m going to do but you certainly had a tongue lashing with regard to proper manners in my head.
The sun came out while we were in the cathedral and we did the parts of the ‘castle’ we had tickets for. Honestly you could and probably should spend an entire day exploring the place properly but we only had two days for the whole city. We started the descent which was a lot easier and about halfway down through a wall found a small cafe called Coffee in the Garden. Our drinks weren’t up to much but it was made up for by the views.
We crossed over Charles Bridge, which was now rammed, and spent some time wandering around old town, gazing open mouthed. It looks like something Disney would construct for a fantasy film. Looking at some of the photos and videos I took it just looks computer generated. As lunchtime approached we decided to make our way back over to lesser town and in particular the square where our hotel was as there were a few restaurants there and we figured it would be better quality and cheaper maybe then Old Town.
As we were sitting down my neighbour Paul phoned, apparently the water coming out of the taps at home was orange. More importantly (for us) it turns out Penny, his wife, is of Czech heritage and he recommended the duck and bread dumplings (Penny has a recipe) so that’s what I had along with a very refreshing beer. It was very nice. I’m not trying to be disparaging when I say there’s a reason there aren’t many Central European food restaurants around the world. Unlike their architecture their food doesn’t make you go ‘wow’. It is however filling, comforting and is actually nicer than the ubiquitous burger. As we were eating Donald Tusk the Polish Prime Minister drove past with a massive police escort and parked in our square for a bit. I expect he had the duck as well.
After lunch and because I’d had a beer I needed a nap. To be fair these days I don’t need any excuse to have an afternoon nap. While I snoozed Lyn had found a Pandora Shop and so after ‘nap time’ we headed there to get the destination charm. We then carried on our meanderings seeing sight after sight. The National Theatre, Kampa Park, the Babies statues by David Černý which are copies of the ones crawling up the TV Tower (we didn’t get a chance to go there). It was a lovely sunny autumn afternoon and we couldn’t have asked for better weather. To close to our first day we ate at Bistro Judita. Most of the menu seemed to be egg based which was nice and light after our lunch. The waiter also convinced me to try a Czech red wine, a Cabernet Moravia. It’s about on par with Czech food.
Day Two:
Dawn on the Charles Bridge is supposed to be spectacular so I got up about 5:30, 2 hours before time, left Lyn in bed and made my way to the Bridge. There were a few other people doing the same as me but with far more professional equipment. Sunrises are always a bit hit and miss but I think I got some half decent photos.
After breakfast at the hotel we headed for the Jewish Quarter but it was closed. Nothing opens until 10 remember. So we made our way to Old Town Square which has the ‘famous’ astronomical clock. This always seemed to have massive crowds in front of it whether the clock was doing its thing or not. It was about 8:45, big crowds already and then Lyn cleverly noticed that there was a first floor cafe right in front of the clock. This is Cafe Mozart part of the Grand Hotel and any old pleb can walk in, get a table by the window, order a coffee and cake and have a grandstand view of the clock doing its thing which is exactly what we did. Not cheap, it cost £20 but worth it.
So back to the Jewish Quarter. This is a World Heritage Site and if you buy a ticket you get access to several synagogues, museums and the Old Jewish Cemetery. I refer you back to the atheist thing but the Spanish Synagogue is worth the entry fee on its own. I also got to see where the Golem of Prague allegedly lives and I got a complementary Kippa or scull cap.
We then had a couple of slight disappointments. First the Powder Tower was closed and completely covered in scaffolding. Next we trudged all the way across Old Town to see Wenceslas Square only to find that the whole thing was being dug up. I did get into a staring contest with a statue of il Commendatore from (Don Giovanni) to see who had the blackest soul… (see photo).
We carried on exploring and worked our way back over the river as it was getting towards lunch time and explored some more. John Lennon Wall (I don’t know why) a sculpture by the giant baby guy called Piss and a giant water wheel with a demon called Vodnik Kabourek. Prague is as eclectic as it gets and I love it! By these things and many more we found ourselves at Cafe Mondieu a small central euro chain restaurant. I had a squash risotto and French wine. Lyn had French onion soup and a drink called ‘Sexy Dream’. If you are wondering about all the French stuff the French embassy was located here. They even had a restaurant right outside their front door called the Cafe De Paris. I dont know if theres a Weatherspoon's outside the British embassy but I hope so.
There are towers at each end of Charles Bridge and after lunch we decided to go up the Lesser Town Tower and have a look. I have never had vertigo in my life and I’m not sure I had it this time but I felt very peculiar looking over the edge to the extent that I really didn’t want to. The bottom line however is that I’m in charge and my body can do as it’s fucking told.
For our last evening we’d booked a river cruise and meal. This wasn’t cheap CKZ4000 (about £120 for both of us) but worth the money. Pick up and drop off from the hotel. An hours guided tour ride around Prague (only 30 mins as they were running late). Complimentary fizz when you got on board, an all you can eat buffet of very nice food with lots of options. Live music, fantastic views, and cheap drink. It was about a 3 hours cruise up the Vltava seeing sights you never normally see and we loved it. I’d also like to add the boat we were on was really nice. We’d seen some on the river that quite frankly looked like the only thing keeping them afloat was prayer.
And that was 3 nights In Prague. I’d been pitching Prague to Lyn for a few years and she wasn’t keen. Mainly because it wasn’t really a city that popped into your head for a short break. Now that we’ve done it we’d love to go back. Maybe for the Christmas Markets. I think it’s unfortunate it’s now got a reputation for drunken stag and hen do’s, a bit like Amsterdam so I wouldn’t plan a weekend there (Friday and Saturday night can be raucous). It has its faults (where doesn’t) but the draw dropping sights more then make up for it.
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