Day 13: Costa Rica
Today we were in Costa Rica to see the 'hanimals!' as Lyn says. We'd booked a tour for this to an animal rescue centre to give Lyn the best opportunity to actually see something. Costa Rica has no zoo's and all hunting is banned. We had joked that knowing our luck we'd get there and they'd say 'I'm sorry all the animals got better and we released them'.
Coming into Port Limon is quite a sight. It looks like a proper wild and tropical landscape with rows of jungled hills stretching back to the horizon. If you squint a bit you can definitely imagine dinosaurs wandering around out there. But that's not what we were here to see. We were hunting for the allusive and cunning sloth!
We had a bit of time before our coach left so we thought we'd have a look in the terminal building. We didn't make it firstly because of the heat. It wasn't even 9am and it was already oppressively hot. Secondly it turns out we were 'parked' a considerable distance from the terminal. The Ruby Princess, another cruise ship who we'd been shadowing for the last few days had a much better spot way closer to the terminal. In fact they even had a band playing for them. I expect they had a blue badge.
We didn't want to be late getting on the coach but we shouldn't have worried because we had to wait anyway. About 15 minutes late a couple came waddling over to the coach without a care in the world. Here's a handy tip, if you’re fat and late you get the best seats at the front of the coach which are supposed to be reserved for 'raspberries'. This tour was supposed to consist of a visit to an animal rescue centre, a ride down the river in a boat to see animals in the wild and a walk through a rain forest, again to spot animals. It all sounded very good and was right up Lyn's street. Our first stop was going to be the river ride.
The coach parked up near some toilets (so of course after a 30 minute coach ride people needed to wee) and then we walked about 100 meters along a path to the river. Turns out that this was the 'Walk in a Rain Forest' part of the tour. Our guide did stop about halfway and talk about a tree, but come on! I wasn't expecting to have to hack my way through jungle but neither was I expecting a short walk from some roadside toilets to a jetty just down from what looks like (on google maps) a chemical plant!
There was some fruit to eat at the jetty while you waited and then we got on the boat. I have an terrible track record of picking seats and not wanting to ruin my run I thought it would be a good idea to sit at the back of the boat as this would give us quite good views. I was wrong. It did give us good views but not of the animals. Any animals that were spotted were either only visible at the front of the boat or on the opposite side to where we had sat. At one point when our guide shouted out that he'd spotted something on the opposite side to where we were, half the people on our side thought it would be a good idea to rush over to the opposite side of the boat! There was a very ominous lurch and the guide asked people to sit back down. I might have said 'Fucking idiots' a bit loud.
Another disadvantage of sitting at the back of the boat was the complete lack of safety. When the guide said he'd spotted something, Lyn said "If it's monkeys again they can fuck right off" and stood up to get a better view. There was a gap at the back where the engines goes with no chain or bar and Lyn nearly went right down into it. Fortunately I managed to catch her but it could have been quite nasty... Oh and it was monkeys again. On the plus side Lyn got chatting to a lady sat in front of us who was then referred to as 'Sloth Friend'. She'd come on this trip to see the sloths while her husband was on a different tour... Not sure I'd get away with that or even if I'd want to. Surely you want shared experiences good or bad. For me however the nicest thing about her was her Home Counties accent, she was from Cambridgeshire.
After the river we then had quite a long drive to the rescue centre. This wasn't helped by the pointless stop at a tourist trap/toilet where it seems almost every coach in Costa Rica was stopping. On the 2 hour drive I'd been looking at the maps on my phone and trying to work out where we were going. The only likely candidate was the Jaguar Rescue Centre but according to the website it would be closing soon.
Turns out the website wasn't lying. We got split into 3 groups each with a guide. Ours was a nice young lady from France. Now THE most important thing was there had to be sloths and there. In fact I think there were about 4 in total so job done. There were lots of other 'hanimals' as well and the young lady did a good job in the time, about 1 hour. This was plenty of time for me but, again not what we expected. We barely had time to raid the gift shop before getting back on the coach and driving back to the ship.
Day 14: Sea Day & Home
Our last day was a sea day. I'm looking through my notes (believe it or not I do make notes) and I didn't make that many. There's a bit about men wearing what I believe to be women's sleeveless t-shirts. The sort that someone who takes lots of steroids down the gym might wear to show off his 'guns'.
"Yeah man I have to wear this women's crop top because my arms are so big!"
Except the men on the ship arms aren't 'so big'. They're just old and/or fat and look ridiculous. If you wear one of these tops or it's a trend, stop it now.
The other note I made was about us sitting in the 'Indigo Lounge' farting and blaming it on an imaginary passing motorboat. The boat got the blame because our daughter, whose fault it normally is was 5000 miles away. I only add it now just to see if she reads this.
So that was that. There was a very big storm as we cruised into Montego Bay ready to get on the airplane. It was still stupidly warm but the storm did make for some nice photos (see above). If you were arriving you might have felt a bit apprehensive given the waves were washing right over the sea walls.
We had quite a few hours at Montego Bay airport which while it's better then San Francisco airport (worst airport ever) was one of the most expensive I've ever been in. Fortunately for Lyn there was a Pandora shop and she got a Jamaican destination charm. This cost $100, smashing the previous record of €65 paid for a rare Florence charm. FYI these things are normally between £30-£50. If that wasn't bad enough I had a bit of a headache so went to get some pills these cost $1 for 2. NOT 2 boxes 2 tablets. I'm guessing they charge this because Americans think this is an OK price.
Conclusion:
We've been back a month as I write this, plenty of time to reflect. We really enjoyed this trip. We've seen amazing things and had amazing experiences. The truth is neither of us would want to go back to the Caribbean. Not the islands or Central America. Central America is quite Spanish, Hispanic I believe is the term. This shouldn't be a surprise, it's probably a bit like going to New Zealand and complaining it's quite British. Now if I want to experience Spanish culture and architecture I think the best place to do this is Spain and it's a lot cheaper.
As for the islands we only went to 2 but from what I can understand they're all fairly similar. Nice weather (probably), sandy beeches, etc but again you can experience this closer to home and for a lot less money. This might be a bit controversial but I believe American tourists have spoilt the Caribbean. It seems to me that it's their 'playground' in the same way that the Mediterranean is Europes 'playground'. Consequently everything is expensive and over priced and everybody is holding their hand out waiting for a tip.
When we got back we started looking for a holiday straight away which tells you something. To that end we're off to Tunisia for a week at the end of April and it'll cost a 10th of what our Caribbean Adventure has... Of course there's no Trains, Sloths, Pyramids, Jungles, River Rafting, Skippy Sandwich, etc... So swings and roundabouts.
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